They absolutely freak me out. I hate them, and they hate me. This is especially true for birds that make swooping motions, like barn swallows. I think it all started when I was younger (like 12?) while I was mowing the lawn. One time the barn swallows kept on swooping at my head so much that I wasn't able to focus on driving the lawn mower. I was mowing the ditch and almost flipped the mower because of how distracted I was.
I'm also fiercely afraid of getting head lice (another stupid fear), so it also could have started the minute that I learned that birds can carry lice. I mean... ew.
Random fact about the Giwojna house: Every year for Christmas, each sibling gets a new Christmas ornament that somehow represents their year. For instance, when I was four and obsessed with Barbie, I got a Barbie bulb for the tree. This bulb gets put on the back of the tree every single year, as I do not want people to know that I was at one point a "girly girl." When I was 16 and a new driver, my mom made me an ornament that incorporated an old car key. That is one of my favorite ornaments.
I have a purpose to all of this seemingly useless information, I promise.
This year, Mom, Cassi, and I were at Menards around the end of October looking at the Christmas stuff. I didn't really know what to get as an ornament for this year. At that time, there were so many unknowns. I knew that I was currently student teaching and would be graduating soon, but that was about all I knew. I was also hating student teaching at the time and was unsure if I really even wanted to be a teacher. I saw this one ornament that was of a blue bird (that to me looked like a barn swallow.) When I saw this, I knew that it was the perfect representation of my year. As cheesy as it sounds, it was like me facing my fear of growing up and of the unknown.
It also reminded me of several verses from the Bible. The Bible actually uses the analogy of birds a lot. I never really understood them before, but now they take on new meaning.
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Matthew 6:25-34 ESV
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31 ESV
"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 ESV
"Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me. And I say, 'Oh, that I had wings like a dove! I would fly away and be at rest.'" Psalm 55:5-6 ESV
These verses serve as a reminder to me that God is faithful. I do not need to be afraid or anxious. He will provide for my every need. I simply need to wait on the Lord. His will is better than mine.
With all that said, birds are kind of my theme for this trip. Whenever I see a bird (with this -40 degree weather, this probably won't happen until I go to Australia... yikes!), I want it to serve as a reminder to me that God is faithful. His love never fails. His will is perfect.
This is something that I painted when I was first entertaining
the idea of going with YWAM to Australia and Papua New Guinea.
If you would like to join me in this, that would be awesome. Whenever you see a bird, say a prayer thanking God for his faithfulness. Maybe even say a prayer for me. :)
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